Sixth letter - the wisdom of choice

 The sixth letter to the Chinese students choose wisdom mm
edit: kfwebadmin Date: 2006/9/18 14:18 Read: 5605 Rating: 8.67/21
Summary: Life is a string of difficult choices, is a continuous selection process. As we journey through life, leaving behind the past is our selection. If you choose well, we will feel happy and successful, will find themselves on the world, others had a positive impact.
the sixth letter to the Chinese students choose wisdom
mm is a string of difficult choices in life, is a continuous selection process. As we journey through life, is left behind the results we have chosen . If you choose well, we will feel happy and successful, we feel the world, for others to produce a positive effect.
when I encounter important choices in life, I always believed in doing things the following three principles:
have the courage to change things can change, there can not be changed mind to accept things, the wisdom to know the difference.
Over the years, these words have given me immeasurable support and encouragement, to help I spent countless life pass. share with the China Youth After three sentences, had a classmate for these three words, write asked me:
very heart felt sympathy.
efforts to achieve the purpose.
the world.
different , the wisdom of compromise, but fundamentally speaking, it is conceived in the selection and the selection of sublimation of the highest wisdom mm I call it century, the wisdom of young students need to select well-known management expert Peter b
Drucker (Peter Drucker) said that the twenty-first century is the century of a choice, because if future historians look back now, they will Remember, today is not the most technical aspects of the reform or innovation in networking, but mm humans will have the right to choose. He said that this sentence is because in today's information society, everyone can access to information, knowledge , relies on brain power to better themselves, and more and more enterprises will be more delegation of authority to the staff, attention to positive selection of employees. everyone has the opportunity, then look at each person's success is even more active in fighting for and the wisdom to choose.
This is an exciting time, in such an environment, each person faces a choice, have the right to choose. especially in China, the choice of time is more valuable. Review China's nearly a hundred years of history, it can be said that today's young students in China the first time in a century opportunity to enjoy advanced education, but also do not have to worry about life, security and food and clothing, their first all over the world via the Internet to obtain information, the first After graduating with time in so many, you can choose jobs.
However, although the honor of China's young students born in the era of the freedom to choose, but time did not pass on the wisdom of their choice.
in the previous exchanged letters with the students and the founder of moment. For example, students often ask me about how to choose the question: It? make a choice. Faced with these problems, my answer is:
I can help you do not choose their own problems because you only know what is best, and only their own future are most concerned about.
I to do is to teach the wisdom of your choice to help you listen to their mind, the most realistic sound to help you make wise choices.
in this letter, the wisdom of my choice a total of eight successful:
? rejected by moderate extreme
? a rational analysis of scenarios
? make an impact with a pragmatic
? with sober control choice
? by consciously correct their attitude
? gain experience with the learning
? with the courage to give up the burden
? really follow the wisdom of using
(1) refuse to use the doctrine of extreme
Many people do not understand the doctrine of the real meaning, the misconception that the doctrine is powerless to do the honest people. In fact, the doctrine tells us that the most important thing is to avoid and reject the extreme and one-sided.
For example, in my The fifth letter of the most important initiative put forward, if done to extreme, it becomes overbearing, like others insufferably arrogant, domineering rampant. In my second letter to getting along with others raised in the empathy of the most important If done to the extreme, it becomes a blind obedience, have lost their choice, what did not assertive. extreme self-confidence to become arrogant, extreme becomes foolhardy courage, the mind is the extreme weakness, extreme self-reflection will become inferior.
confidence, self-reflection, courage, mind, positive, attitude of empathy are the six essential elements of success, it is they who need the benefits. However, once one of them kinds of attitudes developed to the extreme, the advantage will immediately turn into disadvantages. The following chart shows is that the attitude of the six winners to be, and the consequences of their development to the extreme:
as shown above, represent a complete inner ring, balanced state, the outer ring on behalf of the extreme behavior of one-sided. The first is the essence of wisdom: we must use the doctrine to guide their thinking, their attitude to limit the complete and balanced within the context of both self-confidence and self-examination, courage and heart , and empathy and other positive factors, a time to prevent their respect in which the performance is too extreme.
I have seen a negative extreme example: there was a staff of managers proposed to take break to read Lun biography of a little story. that story to the effect that a child of Napoleon and the students often fight, but always lost to the other party. He was determined, even if they are killed also admit defeat, and using unconventional and ; suicide A typical extreme. this is the story of Napoleon, I do not see a brave hero, but an arrogant, stubborn, overconfident guy. Although I am not a historian, but I clear example of this is absolutely not worth learning.
In addition, I have personally experienced an extreme test: in training courses, so that ten, vice president of a circle, one and a half hours you can speak freely, but only can not speak companies do. So, everyone started talking about the weather, politics, sports disputes have emerged during hh. in a warm conversation, the time passed imperceptibly. one and a half hour later, each vice president are at their own mind on the respect of the other vice president, the degree of an order for them to row, and placed himself in the right place. sort, we found that the first is the last person did not speak from beginning to end, last second, then most people. not The speaker may have ideas, but did not express them, then people will think that he had no opinion. On the contrary, if too many people may have some interesting words, but many should not talk about it, which makes him unable to get all the praise.
So, silence is gold and outspoken are not desirable, then how do we achieve company began my first job, the company has a manager named Sean, we all know he is a very talented, especially in a meeting, he perfectly decent words to show his extraordinary talent and learning , emotional intelligence and eloquence, enough to make the presence of all admiration. One day, I summon the courage to ask for advice on effective communication Sean whereabouts secret. Sean said: statements; when I do not know or not sure, my mouth tightly closed; but when I have good advice, I never miss the opportunity to mm if not let me speak, I will not let the meeting end. ; I asked him: hands, issue a special sound (such as throat clearing sound), or host with eyes asked me to speak. However, if other people do to occupy all the opportunity to speak, I'll wait spokesman for the adjustment of breathing quickly connected to the Buddist . Yes, I will cleverly opportunity to answer to him l to r; If not, I would say that l do not know, but I will go check r, and so will open after, I'll definitely check out the problem. with his remarks so I learned a lot mm as long as a good grasp of the degree to speak, choose a good time to talk, you can get the respect of people around, and that others will learn from your discourse you are a profound and humble person .
example of speaking so much, in fact, want to tell you, whether in life or at work, we should endeavor to avoid extremes, to maintain a balanced state, and take the road of moderation.
(2) a rational analysis of scenarios not only emphasizes moderation
keep honest middle, also requires us to Zeshanercong.
in the face of choice, we will start with the first go to extremes to avoid the trap of wisdom, and wisdom with the second complex, changing environment, prudent and calm to choose the best solution. with the previous map view, the first intelligence allows us to avoid the outside of the circle, the second inner wisdom is telling us is not necessarily the answer, but should use reason to do the best choice under the scenario. It is in fact a combination of the true meaning of moderation. So take in moderation is not absolute According to scenario choices are in line with moderation and wisdom of these two. From another perspective, we should not think that attitude is related to the success of the six opposition between one or the other, neither one-sided emphasis on an attitude, and do not between the two attitudes one-sided emphasis on The answer is: ! If he can accept the challenge, then, the boss has not made a final decision, do not be afraid to challenge; but we must take into account, if it is to speak in public, his words must have a certain skill, should be concerned that the boss face. boss once made a decision, with or without objection we have to be supported and implemented, where there do not agree with the boss can only communicate in private. with the wisdom of screening a variety of complex situations, and candidates from different programs Zeshanercong way, so as to find the best way to challenge. this case the selection process can also be expressed visually by computer flow chart out: < br> On the other hand, we can see that leadership also needs Zeshanercong. Many people mistakenly think that good leaders have the same style, for example: Command command, macro-control, harmony, and for, democracy and freedom, authority responsible for mentoring and training.
In fact, the famous management books in the the six leadership seems contradictory, and there will be a result of the specific situation intelligently use the right kind of different. This > According to Goldman's analysis, a good leader always have these six leadership, and will analyze the current situation rationally to determine what kind of use them. For example, assume that the poor performance of staff or staff new to , when the company faced a major crisis, staff should use the command, the command means; if companies need to change direction, or employee morale because they do not understand the direction is not high, and you are a trustworthy leader, then macro-control methods should be used; If you find handy work of employees, sectoral coordination is no problem, it should focus on the harmonious cooperation; When you find knowledgeable employees, or when you are uncertain of results, you should choose the way of democracy and freedom ; if the staff capacity is high and is an expert, or have a positive self-attitude, authority responsible manner should be used; If the staff is very dynamic, willing to do a good job, but lack of experience, while business and not in times of crisis, It should try to guide the training. the best leader is to have these six seemingly contradictory leadership, and with the wisdom of right choices according to different scenarios of people.
choice in life are not the vast majority of non-black white, either-or thing. We have to learn in the most appropriate time for the most appropriate person with the most appropriate method, to learn to make decisions in a rational overall measure of the pros and cons of various factors and their ability and inclination . these things can not rely on a simple formula to determine. Readers should by virtue of their wisdom, choose the most suitable for their own success.
(3) with a pragmatic choice to influence the integrity and balanced
, you must first make it clear that you face is that you can affect things, or you can not afford to change. Stephen b Covey in his book is >? can directly affect the question: For this problem, the solution lies in the implementation of the correct attitude. This is our mission possible, and it is the core of the Question: depends on the way to influence improvements to be addressed, such as the use of interpersonal relationships, teamwork and communication skills to resolve. This is the most worthy of our efforts to fight the attitude and a calm mind and accept them. even though there are more dissatisfied, but also calmly, so as not to conquer our problems.
regardless of any problems, if you think that crux of the problem is caused by to the problem, as long as the patient you break it open, you can see which parts are affected, which parts that you can watch but can not be affected. and then, to strive for those who can , so that they can become a br> So, no matter the question is which of the three, the first step to solve the problem should start from their own sphere of influence: the first of their own, and then influence others, and finally be possible to affect the environment.
this methods asked me: students practice in the back that some angry words. On one occasion, he even used the terms of student cadres in front of me leading a lot of fabricated charges. because of his good relations and leadership, leadership in the implementation of the case failed to investigate to dispose of me, my qualifications of party activists also canceled. I am particularly angry, why not investigate the leadership to deal with my survey? I really do not make mistakes. it really be that right? > My answer is: can not influence, nor change. I advise you to think more, what matters is that you can influence and change. For example, you have not thought about, if you have not had speaking ill of him behind, is not all this can be avoid? I'm not saying other people are doing right, but you can only amend their own, not fix others. You must know how to fix their own problems to be able to avoid this happening again. If time could go back, you will do get better? you will control your emotions, or will it get rid of bad things about the wrong person behind that? you have not heard of l How do I treat others, they treat me r this sentence? If you are not behind criticize others, it is likely that others will not motivate you. There is a saying: l Although we can not change the wind, but we can adjust the sails. r I hope you can live and work in a clear understanding of where their sails . people in the setback will learn far more than what a successful school to. I hope you post after this time, unfortunately, can become a more mature, more successful people. , also because they were involved in legal disputes, and learned to statements of fact, there are many children and even some black false accusation and malicious spread the story of the Chinese invented the Internet. At that time, thanks to my lawyer friend reminded me: the media reports, we are powerless, because in the case whirlpool, I can not come forward to explain, otherwise not only added insult to injury, and may provide additional materials to each other. The judge's decision is that I can be indirectly affected, and we must strive to fight a good fight. As a direct effect on The wide side is that I can search the evidence, find witnesses, to understand the law, ready to confront the evidence confirmed that the other side lies. Thus, in two months time, I no longer subscribe to the newspaper, not on the news sites, is no longer gossip temptations. I spent sixteen hours a day, study hard law, in each other's nearly 30 million documents using the latest search tools to find the file we need, and attorneys with the drafting of our defense again and again Court to make rehearsal. September court, we really win, the judge allowed the work I started Google. In our celebration party, a lawyer said in a toast to me I do not like the defendant, but more like a pro lawyers, and even estimate the value of the equivalent of two of my lawyers. in retrospect, he asked why I calmly buried a day to see the file, do the media coverage of the outside wind and rain do not care? I told him: do not care, but I do not want to waste time on things that I can do nothing. naturally mm fully transformed into positive reports as facts speak for themselves, I began to overcome the fact that the work of any one negative article. We can see from this example: focus on the things you can change and may not be changed even when the final things have changed.
(4) control the decision
with sober life is a choice of the game continued, with wind and rain but also the sun. This is one of the most important, we have to use a calm attitude control every choice the whole process:
the choice before the important decisions may all closely related to the future of your own, but you choices and judgments, we must avoid preconceived mind-set, to avoid the impact of their tendency to judge the precision of subjective and objective.
So, how do we make objective and accurate decisions? I offer three suggestions to you:
First, the list of factors affect your choice as a benefits and drawbacks of each factor, and then through an objective analysis of the table, interests and defects which are most important to you? These factors are consistent with your values and ideals? When you put in front of such an objective and detailed the pros and cons table, the subjective factors not easily affect your sense of the.
example, in 1998, there are two roads before me to choose from: Back to the Research Institute of China was founded, the company in the United States to do business. When I asked many friends there and I together are willing to return to China, each of them say: is likely to be affected, not the people calmly and objectively, was probably decided not to go back to China. In order to more objectively determine which path best suits my values and ideals, I've listed the pros and cons of a table:
back China's advantages and disadvantages of working in the United States the advantages and disadvantages of entrepreneurship
young Chinese friends are not optimistic about the opportunity to have their own company in China I did not
the best research environment may be the trouble of moving large sums of wealth, the risk of a collapse of long-term commitment to the company
no empirical relationship of China to work long hours without moving
pros and cons of using such a table, I quickly made a wise decision mm objective and work back to China. because, after considering all pros and cons, back to China to work the best to play my own expertise, and most in line with my personal values and ideals.
s Second, learn to look at the issue of probability theory methods.
In most cases, we did not need to believe that the success probability of a choice must be 100% or 0. On the contrary, we should learn to analyze the thing probability can be changed to do, because even if a cause of this kind of thing, and nothing to be proud of.
do probability analysis, can list the comprehensive consideration of their own. For example, the above-mentioned the worst; 40% sure I can make a world-class research institutions to mm this is the best possible. use this method take into account the two extremes, I soon realize that even the worst situation, I can readily accept and companies. Therefore, I choose to return to work in China has become a matter of course.
course, many choices and not so good , we must carefully assess the risk factors, but also at the right time have the courage to challenge yourself. Former U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell had explained, %, you should do it. Maybe you'll fail, but the cost of delay or waiting is often greater. br> more to seek the views of others is always good. those who are more experienced people can use their many years of accumulation for us the way, the highly intelligent people who can inspire us with their idea of intelligence, those who know how to describe a person can use their emotional intelligence to help us communicate effectively hh
when you ask the views of others, can carry the above-mentioned the other hand, you also avoid subjective influence others described. Of course, you also must understand that the final decision on your own, even if you accepted the views of others, you can not shirk this responsibility to others.
The so-called > For example, some people because of their lack of confidence, each time just to make the decision to immediately tense up, do not know what their choice will lead to results; some people really like take into consideration, but afterwards they regret forever; there are those who are too sensitive, that would have to make their own objective and fair decision, but after hearing others talk to swing up and hh
a matter of fact, whether you're the right choice or not, regardless of its outcome, the decision has been made can not be recovered, you only readily accept it, or in the future to find ways to remedy the situation. for what has happened, or things they have no control, any concern or remorse are superfluous. Rather than spend time on unnecessary anxiety, these things would be better to , there is an overbearing manager J, he joined the company took just under an operation and is always looking for some trumped-up charges laid off a number of competent staff, so the team changed to for those in poor subordinates often come to me for help. there was a subsidiary called S, the action received after J told me that he can use the evidence that he did not do anything wrong. So, I appeal to help J, S boss, under the ironclad proof, S got a new job.
under D, but another completely different situation, his situation is very difficult, because the J D of the computer where the buried in a perjury , and then fired him on grounds of bribery. I have repeatedly communicate with the D, I believe he was innocent. But the evidence, I am unable to avenge. In particular, I had just joined the company soon, there is not enough authority and credibility to interfere with other departments to do. After a me: I am powerless. And, since it has been decided not to help him, I have to gently r l to lay down it, think about nothing. I should have to focus on my work, so maybe one day, I can have sufficient authority and credibility to help other people. 5) Use self correct their attitude
Chinese saying goes, one of your former self. This fact is, social life, everyone should own quality, potential, strengths, flaws, experience, ability and other basic have a clear understanding of their working life in the community may play a role in a clear position. psychology, the ability to self-knowledge that are referred to as of, understand and correctly assess their qualifications, abilities and limitations, I believe their value and ability areas.
a conscious one can make for themselves the most intelligent choice, choose to do their own competence in job satisfaction can be selected to do the work and so on. be a conscious person, neither will their ability to judge is too high, it will not easily underestimate their potential. on their own are often easy to judge too impetuous , rash, and others are not good at cooperation in the cause of psychological gap was larger setbacks, it is difficult to treat calm and objective facts; people underestimate their own potential, it will work timid, hesitant, do not shoulder the burden of responsibility and the courage, nor volunteered initiative. no matter which of the above case, the individual's potential can not be given full play, your career can not be the greatest success.
I had a subordinate, a consciously force very humble, but I can only assess their own: My performance is the most remarkable. at least conscious. Sure enough, he soon made, I do not know his talent, he can not be reused, he decided to go to other departments and find another job. but he eventually found himself not only the lack of a better job in the company colleagues think that he lacks self-knowledge. Finally, he left the company in frustration. take his position who is a capable, and very humble person. Although this person work in a post on the not very successful, but he understand that it was because he promoted too fast, not well prepared, so he is willing to do the job from the lower level, in order to lay a solid foundation. he was really doing a good job.
who are conscious setbacks at work when the failure will not give in when the work will not be complacent about the achievements. self-understanding, the ability of accurate positioning of self-worth can not only help individuals find their own space and the right direction, but also can help companies establish their respective duties, the excellent team work. There conscious choice to let others who are more willing to trust.
conscious for the management of modern enterprises is also very important. in the company, managers in measuring an employee job performance, if found that the employees do not, they will immediately ask the question: If the answer is no, then, managers no longer have any ...